SELF-IMAGE

Written by

Brij Sachdeva 

It is Your Perception of Who You Are

Self-image or self-concept is about how you see yourself. It is nothing but your own perception of yourself. Self-image is the mental picture you carry of who you are— your worth, your abilities, your personality, your emotions, your strengths, and even your limitations or flaws. Although it may not necessarily be who you truly are; it is simply who you believe you are. It means that self-image may not always match precisely with reality. When it matches with reality, it is considered "consistent"; when it does not, it is considered "inconsistent".

Why does it Matter

If you see yourself as confident, you are more likely to speak up, take chances, and step into opportunities. If you see yourself as inadequate, you may avoid challenges, hesitate, and unknowingly confirm that belief. People often react not to your full, complex inner self, but to the signals you send—through your words, actions, body language, and attitude. Those signals create a “first draft” of who you are in their minds, and their responses to that draft can either open doors or subtly close them. When you walk into a place, before you speak, you are already communicating and suggesting who you are. Your posture may suggest confidence or hesitation.

Impact of Childhood Reality

Parenting and caregiving have a great impact on the development of a child. Self-image, is formed during childhood and early adulthood, when it is more flexible. A child who gets respect, care, and love in the family has a different kind of swagger and strength of mind, while a child who is deprived of these essentials has a different type of swagger and mental strength. In fact, the damage or enhancement caused to the strength of the mind, by close people and surrounding life conditions in the early years of life, is almost irreversible. Although it is possible to modify the self-image in later years, it becomes a more challenging task because individuals have already cemented their beliefs about themselves. Cementing of beliefs through the journey from childhood to adulthood shapes the basic nature of an individual. In my blog post “Basic Nature and Personality”, I have explained that once established, the basic nature can't be modified, while the personality can.

The Damage to the Self-image- a Wound too deep to heal.

 

Sometimes due to some compulsions of life circumstances, a person's self-image deteriorates to such an extent that one is not able to realise their potential and worth. Due to the deterioration of self-image, one becomes a victim of a mental disorder like compulsive submissive behaviour and there is a loss of the strength-of-mind which damages the self-image even more. As a result, a reciprocal feedback loop, called the viscous circle, is created. The more the damage to the self-image, the more the loss of strength-of-mind; the more the loss of strength-of-mind, the more the damage to the self-image. This loop of progressively worsening viscous circle, keeps intensifying until it is interrupted by some external force of a greater magnitude.

It is like a wound on the mind; a wound too deep to heal. Sometimes the damage to the self-image is so profound that even healing itself becomes risky. You want to heal. But healing would change how others see you and how you see yourself. This shift feels unfamiliar and dangerous, as it could alter your identity showing a new version of you, to others. If you don't heal, you will continue to suffer as the damage to your mental strength grows deeper and more intense. If you do heal, the fear of rejection and being left alone will haunt you. As a result, your body instinctively waits, hesitating to embrace change until you feel ready.

Realisation Heals and Liberates

Getting out of the vicious circle of progressively deteriorating self-image and mental strength is an uphill task. But it is possible through self-reflection and self-realisation. When we reach the point of realising our own potential and worth, the dependence on others determining our potential and worth, ends. Then the magic of self-respect starts working. Truth is such a thing, the moment you realise it, you change into a new person. Now it becomes difficult to remain the same as before. Now you cannot live like before because you have discovered a treasure that you already had, but you did not realise its existence or know its worth. After finding out that you have only two options, either you will fight or you will walk away. Now change is inevitable. There is pain in change, but there is also joy after the pain. In the end, joy is certain, whether it is of the success or of the liberation.

See also

WALK AWAY

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